Trying to forget

She,
loves me,
She loves me not,
She hates me,
she hates me not,
ran out of petals there...
what does that mean?
what`s waiting in here,
in these words:she hates me not?
she-the person because of who i suffered a lot
hate-a negative feeling which I should harbor towards her,
me-a wrecked person trying to forget, to rebuild, to hate her
not-a simple word that fuses all together and obliterates any hope of redemption
my will shall save me, I will to hate with the whole of my body
A word shall not defeat me, man makes words
words don`t make man
I will prevail,
I will
hate!

Cold winters eve

On a cold winters eve,
walking on the empty street,
I notice a ray of light
I think it`s my dying might.
Winter`s cold but the world
freezes me. The street has a curve
a slight breeze mocks me
and i know what shall be!
I will embed my soul in hate.
Die it in blood,red,death...Wait!
It`s not enough! I will kill!
Kill my soul with iron will...
Shatter it all over the floor
and i`ll be ignorant, wretched and cool.
And I shall love no more
That is my goal!

Love(YOU)

An air of overwhelming depression sucked out my life
An air of overwhelming depression...
Now I feel empty...Unhappy....Destroyed....
Now I feel empty...
I just cannot think of anything else...It`s depressing.
I just cannot think of anything else...
But you are the source of my pain...and my only hope of redemption.
But you...
I shall not break my will is sure to survive...It`s killing me inside.
I shall not break...
My iron will is going to help me...it will defeat anything.
My iron will....
It shall break my soul but I will break free of this diabolic circle...
It shall break my soul...
Then you will love me no longer and I shall be destroyed...but free
Then you will love me...

Justice

I cannot distingush good and bad,
It`s a quality I never had,
You cannot distinguish bad and good,
It`s a thing you never could.
And we, you and me, she and he,
We all speak of what is just, or what may be!

Alone

I don`t dare to stay alone,
I`m afraid of myself!
I don`t want to see my soul,
I`m afraid of myself!
I don`t want to remember,
I`m afraid of myself!
In my chagrin pain I`m severed,
I hate myself!
Alone, in this stroke of insanity,
I hate myself!
This position of moral superiority,
I cannot bare myself!
Don`t leave me! Alone!Alone!Alone!
I die.....

False positive

It was a party,
I was naughty,
He stepped towards me,
He KNEW me,
I liked him,
we ditched the party,
went to another,
I KNEW nobody,
we got separated,
He got drunk,
They said He didn`t want to,
They said He liked me,
I BELIEVED Them,
drove Him home,
put Him asleep,
went home,
started DREAMING,
started LOVING,
fell asleep,
woke up,
went to work,
remembered Him,
called Him,
He said He was busy,
He said He was grateful,
He said He was sorry,
He said He wants to meet me,
I just couldn`t wait,
I was DAYDREAMING,
DREAMED about us,
I couldn`t wait,
went to have lunch,
I wasn`t in this world,
He was in my every thought,
got to the cafe,
I was SURE he LOVES me,
sat down,
waited,
ordered a late,
and then HE stepped in,
started to chat,
I KNEW then He loved me,
I just waited for him,
He didn`t make his move,
I wanted to do something,
I wanted Him
and then He presented His GIRLFRIEND.

Freedom

You say that modern society is good because people are free in it, they can do what they like when they like. Well sincerely that`s crap, not true. We are chained as the slaves were. Chained by mass media, the church, the government with one word SOCIETY. This thing which has a constant pressure on you, forces you to think what everyone else thinks, otherwise he`ll excommunicate you, it manipulates you and by these things it chains you. If you want to be a respected, normal citizen you have to do what other people do and do it how they do because that`s the socially accepted way...So in this free society to be normal means to do everything in a socially accepted manor. And who made those rules? Why do I have to accept them? The only way you can be free is to be an outcast, so rebel!

Phobia

I am starting to develop an acute commercial-phobia...I am sickened of the fact that what they show you is not necessarily true it just has to cover reality in an odd way, and the rest is marketing! It`s sad that they lie you in the face and at first you have some queries but when you see it a thousand times you will believe...so the sky is green !BELIEVE IT!

Citylife

That pale blue sky,
That deep blue eye,
And the suns ray,
That organized disarray,
Which is the buzz of the city
Not feeling it is a pity!
Feel, breath and realize
Living in a city is the best prize!

Romaina

So this pic was taken at Bîlea lake...It`s one of the most beautiful sights in the whole country, and if a tourist comes to see it, then he just can`t do that because he`ll only see piles and piles of rubbish..Rubbish everywhere even in the lake!!
Take a good look and see why our country is so looked down in other European countries...Carelessness kills those places and our country too...So vive le Romania!!! we`re damn far from Europe....That`s the sad truth.

Moment

As the undulating landscape passes by,
When your soul seems to fly,
As the guitar solo slues your brain to sleep,
That`s the moment to keep.

The greatest narcotic

To amass pleasures is a very good thing...And the best part is that to do this you don`t have to get high or drunk...you just have to open your eyes, listen to your favorite music and look at the landscape, count the trees, the mountains as the train passes by...Wave to the old man who just stoped scything and have a broad smile on your lips when he waves back, hug your girl(/boy)friend and then you`ll know that no narcotic can match life.

Ze art...

Lying is an art...a big and ancient art. It is marvelous when you use all off your skill to fool a person.
That thrill which gives you goosebumps until you wait if the person takes it in, and that large boost of endorfin if you succeed or that punishing pain if you fail. Ohh and by the way, if you think that you don`t lie you are wrong. An average person lies 200 times a day! How? What do you answer to questions such as "How are you?"...I guess it`s the usual "Fine thanks!"...one lie..and so on. But back to the esence to lie is a good display of your acting, language and psihologic skills. And to be sincere it`s fun. So people don`t be affraid to lie, in one point or another in your life you`ll have to do it, so choose to enjoy it! Cheers!

Saturday, May 31, 2008

When the one you love does not love you back,
That is the point when strength is at lack,
What you feel is shearing pain
And that all is in vain.

When your heart does not obey your command,
And you scream of a persistent demand,
To feel the person you relish,
So other things perish.

Love

What is love? The scientific explanation for love is that ones gestures, looks, smell triggers chemical reactions in our brain producing a mixture of hormones which spur us to reproduce....Love of the body.....And on the other hand we love someone for their thoughts, their spirit, their point of view, their habits etc. ...Love of the soul...Both of them exist solely first one is lust, the second is platonian love. But love is a lethal predator, it stabs you in the back, it can drive you mad, you may become suicidal or in the best of cases happy. So to say it out front nobody died of lust or platonian love it`s the mixture, the fine combination of chemicals and thoughts which is dangerous. When you can`t decide to talk or to speak then my friend your doomed, dead meat. That feeling, when your blood pressure rises, your heart starts working double-time, you start to feel dizzy, your palm sweats, and all these things because a person is close to you, bonded to you...Now that`s addicting! So answering my first question LOVE IS A DRUG.(Personal note: love will destroy us all)

Poem of a modern man

I am who I am, but I`m not me
I play my role in society
I may be stupid, or a wannabe,
Cuz I am who I am, but I`m not me.

I play along with this useless game,
Why for? I`m telling, it is no shame
To be as everybody else, plain.
That for i play along this useless game.

My friend! No more faking, no more pain!
We should not use our rage in vain!
Our body is, as should, our rightful claim
So my friend! No more faking, no more pain!

Living easy

It`s September 15th, school started. The freshmen timidly enter their classrooms, divide into groups or get to know each other. As time passes the new-comers are incorporated into the lively flux of school blood a.k.a community. So for those who know nothing of high school traditions shall be know enlighten because the 12 graders started to organize the freshmen`s ball. The unaware 9. graders woke up when the schools Mr. Popularity walked in and his eye was drawn to the other end of the classroom where a beautiful blonde girl was sitting. He came to ensure that the 9.A knows about the ball...He calmly walked down the center row of the class and started a conversation. Her name is Magnolia. Mr. P.(opularity [get used to the abbreviation:D]) thought that this beauty of the school would be a fine addition to his collection of "scalps".[to be continued...]

Nr.1

This is my first post on my blog. so this will shortly describe what to expect on this page...Well absolutely anything....I know that i`m a huge help right now, but in time, of course if you are a returning visitor you`ll see what i mean.:D At the end let me mention that this blog is meant to express my art, my lifestyle.(this is help:P)