Trying to forget

She,
loves me,
She loves me not,
She hates me,
she hates me not,
ran out of petals there...
what does that mean?
what`s waiting in here,
in these words:she hates me not?
she-the person because of who i suffered a lot
hate-a negative feeling which I should harbor towards her,
me-a wrecked person trying to forget, to rebuild, to hate her
not-a simple word that fuses all together and obliterates any hope of redemption
my will shall save me, I will to hate with the whole of my body
A word shall not defeat me, man makes words
words don`t make man
I will prevail,
I will
hate!