Monday, November 15, 2010

Balance is cruel. But cruel is not negative. Nor positive. It is natural. And what is natural is beyond good or bad, beyond everything rational that humans can perceive with their minds. Like balance. Balance means you get and receive but not too much or too less, nothing that can be quantified. Balance is nothing. No plus. No minus. They say that there was a mathematician who invented zero. No zero could not be invented. It was discovered. Re-discovered to be precise. As humans evolved they have developed a thing called ego which is rational and which seriously damaged their way of perceiving things. They lost the “suprarational” such as: balance. Be it a personal or collective ego, it does not matter, the main thing is that then you say that I am the universe, or we are the universe which is absolutely true. I am the universe. What I don`t know does not exist (for me). And as I progress in knowledge the universe expands. But not like the common thing we know as universe. My universe, that which defines me, as it expands the interior is hollow. And because the external part is nothing too, the pressure balance(yet again balance) keeps it standing. I am not ego-centered. No I do not see only myself. I see the world that surrounds me. The rocks, flocks and lovebirds. And because I have an inquisitive mind I try to solve their problems. Thus I am rational, I exist. When I am not rational I do not exist. This is how I am. And this is the truth. The truth of my existence is that I don`t always exist. It may sound absurd but this is how it is. When I solve problems, rationalize I do exist. But when I try to solve some of my own problems there is a rupture in my existence. I cease to exist. This is my opinion about existence. To define it, to clarify my opinion: Existence is the process of rational, analytical thinking. And even in free writing and stuff like that one can find a thread of logic. But not in feelings. At least not in some of them. Come to think of it I talked earlier about balance and things that are beyond ration. Thus what I said is obsolete. Intreguing. They are part of the universe and are not rational. This is the only explanation for the fact that my existence is not continuous. When I do something that is natural, as I said before, I cease to exist.

Szeretem hajadnak gyonyoru, lagy eseset,

S szemed gyonged,artatlan szenvedeset

1 comment:

b said...

ismeros tema, mintha nem reg vitaztam volna valakivel on this subject...btw.
I hope everything is okay. :)