Sensless ladykiller?Misunderstood lovebird?

I`m really interested in you folks opinion. I can clearly state that I did not heed Jackson`s advice("People always told me be careful of what you do /And don't go around breaking young girls' hearts"). Okay...it isn`t his advice :-))...But the essence is that I really did some bad stuff...caused a few(maybe more then a few[i can`t really decide on the number because of my overdeveloped ego])heartbreaks but dudes and dudesses look at this problem from my point of view...for only a second. I loved each and every of my girlfriends. Really, no double-crossing, not this time :-). I fell for them in a matter of days and then....nothing. The emptyness, the abyss inside took over. Well that`s not exactly true for every case but nevermind. Back to the subject. Don`t misunderstand me i`m not saying it`s them gals fault. No, it`s most probably my idiocy. But still...can I be condamned for this hole inside longing for love? Knowing this answer my question(title).

Daily routine

Get up. Survive. Go back to bed.
The daily routine I have had.
Now it`s a bit different, hell,
I just get up and do well.
Improvement you can say...
A correction if I may!
I`m doing well `cuz I`m addicted,
I just do as it was predicted.
Down, down the slope I go
Further down I meet a ho,
Look at the bright side!
I might find the bottom, right?
Well...no! But who the fuck cares?
I drink as much as my kidneys bear
I smoke as much as my lungs support
I guess this concludes my report!
Bye people, I love you all!
My life`s a failure, dysmal.

You do voodoo

Don`t know what you do,
But for me it`s voodoo!
You somehow bewitched me,
How I cannot see.

You are in my mind, my heart
This I really don`t mind, but...
But at least let me nearer,
Closer, my dear.

Don`t know what you do,
But for me it`s voodoo!
You somehow bewitched me,
How I cannot see.

Somehow I am obsessed,
Not at all depressed,
You just light my fire,
You`re my desire!

Don`t know what you do,
But for me it`s voodoo!
You somehow bewitched me,
How I cannot see.

Footnote of DeadslayerX: Who do the voodoo? You do?

An endless beginning

Spring. A booming race of beauty.
Beauty. A new being , a new life.
New life. A depressing need for love.
Love. You are my love, you are my spring.
Spring.....

Smokin`

First hit...feels like your inner organs are vibrating.
Second hit...your blood starts to fizzle first in your hands and then in your legs
Third hit...you feel like you fly, fly up to the sky
3++...friggin` good baby

I want...

I want a real smile,
I want a real kiss,
Somebody to really miss!

I`d be fulfilled,
I`d be happy
But life`s too nasty!

I say I want real,
Thou that`s the prob
Real doesn`t do the job!

Real is perfect...
My wishes are abstract,
Just dunno how to react...

So I continue to pursue imperfection,
Somebody to love for her wrongs
For that this idiot longs!

Trying to forget

She,
loves me,
She loves me not,
She hates me,
she hates me not,
ran out of petals there...
what does that mean?
what`s waiting in here,
in these words:she hates me not?
she-the person because of who i suffered a lot
hate-a negative feeling which I should harbor towards her,
me-a wrecked person trying to forget, to rebuild, to hate her
not-a simple word that fuses all together and obliterates any hope of redemption
my will shall save me, I will to hate with the whole of my body
A word shall not defeat me, man makes words
words don`t make man
I will prevail,
I will
hate!