Trying to forget

She,
loves me,
She loves me not,
She hates me,
she hates me not,
ran out of petals there...
what does that mean?
what`s waiting in here,
in these words:she hates me not?
she-the person because of who i suffered a lot
hate-a negative feeling which I should harbor towards her,
me-a wrecked person trying to forget, to rebuild, to hate her
not-a simple word that fuses all together and obliterates any hope of redemption
my will shall save me, I will to hate with the whole of my body
A word shall not defeat me, man makes words
words don`t make man
I will prevail,
I will
hate!

Cold winters eve

On a cold winters eve,
walking on the empty street,
I notice a ray of light
I think it`s my dying might.
Winter`s cold but the world
freezes me. The street has a curve
a slight breeze mocks me
and i know what shall be!
I will embed my soul in hate.
Die it in blood,red,death...Wait!
It`s not enough! I will kill!
Kill my soul with iron will...
Shatter it all over the floor
and i`ll be ignorant, wretched and cool.
And I shall love no more
That is my goal!

Love(YOU)

An air of overwhelming depression sucked out my life
An air of overwhelming depression...
Now I feel empty...Unhappy....Destroyed....
Now I feel empty...
I just cannot think of anything else...It`s depressing.
I just cannot think of anything else...
But you are the source of my pain...and my only hope of redemption.
But you...
I shall not break my will is sure to survive...It`s killing me inside.
I shall not break...
My iron will is going to help me...it will defeat anything.
My iron will....
It shall break my soul but I will break free of this diabolic circle...
It shall break my soul...
Then you will love me no longer and I shall be destroyed...but free
Then you will love me...

Justice

I cannot distingush good and bad,
It`s a quality I never had,
You cannot distinguish bad and good,
It`s a thing you never could.
And we, you and me, she and he,
We all speak of what is just, or what may be!

Alone

I don`t dare to stay alone,
I`m afraid of myself!
I don`t want to see my soul,
I`m afraid of myself!
I don`t want to remember,
I`m afraid of myself!
In my chagrin pain I`m severed,
I hate myself!
Alone, in this stroke of insanity,
I hate myself!
This position of moral superiority,
I cannot bare myself!
Don`t leave me! Alone!Alone!Alone!
I die.....

False positive

It was a party,
I was naughty,
He stepped towards me,
He KNEW me,
I liked him,
we ditched the party,
went to another,
I KNEW nobody,
we got separated,
He got drunk,
They said He didn`t want to,
They said He liked me,
I BELIEVED Them,
drove Him home,
put Him asleep,
went home,
started DREAMING,
started LOVING,
fell asleep,
woke up,
went to work,
remembered Him,
called Him,
He said He was busy,
He said He was grateful,
He said He was sorry,
He said He wants to meet me,
I just couldn`t wait,
I was DAYDREAMING,
DREAMED about us,
I couldn`t wait,
went to have lunch,
I wasn`t in this world,
He was in my every thought,
got to the cafe,
I was SURE he LOVES me,
sat down,
waited,
ordered a late,
and then HE stepped in,
started to chat,
I KNEW then He loved me,
I just waited for him,
He didn`t make his move,
I wanted to do something,
I wanted Him
and then He presented His GIRLFRIEND.

Freedom

You say that modern society is good because people are free in it, they can do what they like when they like. Well sincerely that`s crap, not true. We are chained as the slaves were. Chained by mass media, the church, the government with one word SOCIETY. This thing which has a constant pressure on you, forces you to think what everyone else thinks, otherwise he`ll excommunicate you, it manipulates you and by these things it chains you. If you want to be a respected, normal citizen you have to do what other people do and do it how they do because that`s the socially accepted way...So in this free society to be normal means to do everything in a socially accepted manor. And who made those rules? Why do I have to accept them? The only way you can be free is to be an outcast, so rebel!